FREEDOMMMMMM!!!

I have finally found my well deserved freedom. Those two lugs I write about, well they leave me all the time in the middle of the day, prime play hours and they just disappear into thin air. Sometimes one will appear and play for a bit but they seem to get tired or something and just disappear once more. I don't quite understand it! And its odd, every time I notice they have vanished I find this golden cage has appeared around me. Now, I must say, I do have it good in the cage, food, water, toys, a plush bed, sometimes even some classical music, but seriously folks, who likes to know they are confined in a world of so many possibilities? To know you cant sniff where every dog should be able to sniff, lounge in the most prime on conditions (I find this to be the lugs' bed) and munch on anything in sight, its an atrocity I tell you. Well yesterday was my test run, today was my glory day. I have found that with just the right maneuvers of my well maintained physique I can manage to jump, using my bed as a springboard, from in my cage to the lugs' bed, and from there I know no bounds (OK I still need to work on the door since I have no grass...seriously folks, who uses wood instead of grass as a floor, absolute insanity)

Yesterday I was found lounging lazily on the bed, on my best behaviour of course. Today, the pile of dirty laundry was my friend, in particular socks, my favorite delicacy from the region of the world. I have hours of nonstop licking socks action and boy let me tell you how great it was! I only need to master one last item, I must figure out a way to hear the two lugs coming from afar so as to hastily clean up the mess I have made and hop from the bed back into the cage so they don't know that Ive even gotten out. Although I think they are on to me, I have this funny itch on my neck that a taller golden wall will soon appear, but yet another obstacle to overcome. And overcome it we shall.

Ree dic ul ust

You have to understand, I"m not mad at them, I don't hold any enmity nor will I bark at or bite them for what they've done, but in no way or form am I happy about the current state of affairs. I should be on top of the world, instead, I lay here once again, succumbing to their tiresome efforts to adjust my energy level. Let me gather my thoughts and fill you in from the beginning.

I wake myself early today, my stomach is grumblinga little more heartily than when I went to bed and I peek over to check if they're still sleeping and low and behold the big lugs are out like 2 ton sloths. I swear, if I have to rattle this cage and whine every damn morning I'm going to explode. Well lets see, normally when I face this way and bang my nose just like this...

"Sleepytime Solon, go back to sleep"

Damn, compulsion, falling asleep, must stay awake, how do they do it, must stay awake, must....


Well that worked a little bit better square-wheeled donkey cart. Let's try this again, whine, higher pitch, yes nice nice, they're stirring, now don't pay attention to them, face towards the door. Yes, good good, get out of bed ya big lug,

"I've got him honey," his low voice mumbles. Even I have a hard time figuring out what he's saying. "You sure?" she asks, man what a dulcet sound, what I'd give for pipes like those, maybe if I practice a little... "Solon, be quiet, I'm coming... afslkj safd." If I didn't know better I'd say Evan was just swearing at me. "Darling he doesn't know better," my poor clueless Erica whispers on my behalf.

As soon as he opens the cage, I'm just going to wander over to the bed... yes walk past, towards the door... "come on Solon," DAMN he noticed, ok, fight the compulsion, fight it! "Come on Solon, Solon come here, Let's go." ARGH, feet...moving...of own accord, must fight, grrrr, now I want to go outside, I swear I didn't want to go outside a second ago, but now I do, I don't understand, but with enough study, some well-placed licks, and the occasional attack of slobber, I'll discover the truth.

WHOA, the explosion leaving my ass is insane, my god, it just keeps going, I think I"m lifting up in the air... "Holy s((t!," even the big lug is impressed, I have to try that more often. Instant poo.

"Sorry buddy, you're not coming in bed after that performance, you probably need some time alone to rest the hinny as it is." Damn, ixnay on the superpoopay, apparently the "controllers" won't let me in bed after I fill the yard with delicious tasting brown goop, I'll have to plan some other way.

Damn car

I've been told to start recording my thoughts as soon as they occur to me on my masters' assumption my memory only lasts a few seconds.
I believe they base this assumption on my unwillingness to let myself be entertained by their juvenile wanderings into the mysterious world of dogplay. Over time I will train them and reward them with more attention when they start performing up to par. But for now I will accede to their request to bury them in my wit, humor and the occasional silent, viciously nasty, explosion of internal gases.

My GOD who could know that running around in that white stuff could be so much fun!!! I would say I've bounded, slid, flew, slipped, rolled, crashed, burrowed, careened, juggernauted... I run out of adjectives for all of the amazing things you can do with a little bit of frozen crystals.
So I get out of the car, ready for another "sit, come, dance, recite the dictionary starting at 'A'" routine when mom leads me out into an enormous silky expanse, bordered by walls of stately evergreens with their curtained sleeves. I run foward, checking back every so often to make sure I don't have to go herd the two lumberers to join me and before I know it they're running with me, naturally not as gracefully, but regardless... My heart thunders, my paws crashing to through the snow to my ankles as we dodge and parry our way through the field.

When I think back to those moments climbing into the woods, sampling the delectable leaves and twigs, dancing, flinging... I regress. And I grow weary, my brain and heart thump with the memories, but unfortunately, my body may have been worn out. I'll sign off, and add some photos for you guys to peruse.

Just the other day I found myself to be quite useful in helping dadio fix his bike. Little did he know that I am the caped bicycle crusader. At first I decided just to watch but when I realized he had no idea what he was doing I decided to take action. All the bike needed was a little slobber on the chains as lubricant, a few kisses on the brake handles to fix those shaky brakes and a few sniffy nudges. Its too bad he doesn't know a thing about fixing bikes! Mom took some pictures (for some odd reason she was amused by my intimate knowledge of bicycle repair work-seriously people, thats just knowledge gained in vitro!!), Ill bug her to put them up.

Bicycle working

As per Solon's request

Bicycle

A bespectacled day

I don’t know what I’m supposed to feel when I look outside. Evan took me out earlier and I was so tired I didn’t even notice everything was covered in a cold powdery fluff (sometimes I feel like my vocabulary expands in leaps and bounds). I’m heading down the steps, cold and slippery as usual, and while padding out to my normal piss area I’m assaulted by ice crystals floating maliciously from every direction. Like little wasps they attacked me, swarming my sleek coat with the vengeful purpose of a wrathful god with nothing better to do than randomly send disaster upon his faithful acolytes. This is how I felt when I first ventured into the maelstrom and settled my rear into the customary release position. But on further inspection, I realized this powdery substance flying around me had benefits. It seemed Evan couldn’t dodge as quickly or lift me up from my fragilely reposed state as easily. In fact he rather resembled a bull on a skating rink. I honestly don’t know how some animals survive without 4 feet on the ground. I’ve been trying to balance that way and its just not natural. I try to pull my owners down to my level so they can see the benefits and I congratulate them extensively whenever they take the initiative and join me, but its like teaching a new language and I just don’t think they’re practicing when I’m not around, no matter how many licks of encouragement I give. I won’t need a miracle but perhaps a good saw would do the trick.

But I digress, here I sit, trapped in this prison of flimsy metal, waiting for the food and water and HONEY…mmm…honey… I know they will bring, but when I ask, I plead, I coax from the skies, when my relief come.

My Hectic Life

Whew, let me tell you, my owners are run run run. Granted I wake them at 6 am but hey, when I know a trip to the park is coming soon its like waiting for Santa on Christmas Eve. The park, ohhhh the park, acres of green grass, tall trees, hills, swamps, ice, tall grass and best of all, freedom. I can go this way and that, jet to the right, cross the path jet to the left, sniff the garbage can, pee on the bark, chase that pesky yellow ball as it rolls down the path and best yet meet others of my kind. Whew ohhh the park, its enough excitement to last a day. Just yesterday I met some fabulous older dogs (of whom sadly wouldn't let me steal their piece of trash) which I got to chase and sniff!

As if the park wasn't enough I then sometimes get play time with Bonnie, the Golden Retriever who lives just down the street, oh what fun what fun! Chasing her around the yard, dirt flying turning my ink black coat a nice milk chocolate brown, toppling over each other into a somersault, the joys of the morning.

Thankfully my owners have jobs, cause otherwise I don't think I would be able to sleep a wink, and boy do I love chasing those squirrels in my dreams, tongue hanging out, a few howls and barks for good measure. Only if I could get my owners to give me full rein of their bed and couch, and when I say full reign I mean stretch out and cover the bed diagonally just to take up some extra space type of full reign. I'm sure I'll find a way, but until then Ill just settle for free back scratches and tons of treats!

PICTURES ARE HERE!!! Watch me grow up!!

Up to 2.4.07