Ree dic ul ust

You have to understand, I"m not mad at them, I don't hold any enmity nor will I bark at or bite them for what they've done, but in no way or form am I happy about the current state of affairs. I should be on top of the world, instead, I lay here once again, succumbing to their tiresome efforts to adjust my energy level. Let me gather my thoughts and fill you in from the beginning.

I wake myself early today, my stomach is grumblinga little more heartily than when I went to bed and I peek over to check if they're still sleeping and low and behold the big lugs are out like 2 ton sloths. I swear, if I have to rattle this cage and whine every damn morning I'm going to explode. Well lets see, normally when I face this way and bang my nose just like this...

"Sleepytime Solon, go back to sleep"

Damn, compulsion, falling asleep, must stay awake, how do they do it, must stay awake, must....


Well that worked a little bit better square-wheeled donkey cart. Let's try this again, whine, higher pitch, yes nice nice, they're stirring, now don't pay attention to them, face towards the door. Yes, good good, get out of bed ya big lug,

"I've got him honey," his low voice mumbles. Even I have a hard time figuring out what he's saying. "You sure?" she asks, man what a dulcet sound, what I'd give for pipes like those, maybe if I practice a little... "Solon, be quiet, I'm coming... afslkj safd." If I didn't know better I'd say Evan was just swearing at me. "Darling he doesn't know better," my poor clueless Erica whispers on my behalf.

As soon as he opens the cage, I'm just going to wander over to the bed... yes walk past, towards the door... "come on Solon," DAMN he noticed, ok, fight the compulsion, fight it! "Come on Solon, Solon come here, Let's go." ARGH, feet...moving...of own accord, must fight, grrrr, now I want to go outside, I swear I didn't want to go outside a second ago, but now I do, I don't understand, but with enough study, some well-placed licks, and the occasional attack of slobber, I'll discover the truth.

WHOA, the explosion leaving my ass is insane, my god, it just keeps going, I think I"m lifting up in the air... "Holy s((t!," even the big lug is impressed, I have to try that more often. Instant poo.

"Sorry buddy, you're not coming in bed after that performance, you probably need some time alone to rest the hinny as it is." Damn, ixnay on the superpoopay, apparently the "controllers" won't let me in bed after I fill the yard with delicious tasting brown goop, I'll have to plan some other way.