A bespectacled day

I don’t know what I’m supposed to feel when I look outside. Evan took me out earlier and I was so tired I didn’t even notice everything was covered in a cold powdery fluff (sometimes I feel like my vocabulary expands in leaps and bounds). I’m heading down the steps, cold and slippery as usual, and while padding out to my normal piss area I’m assaulted by ice crystals floating maliciously from every direction. Like little wasps they attacked me, swarming my sleek coat with the vengeful purpose of a wrathful god with nothing better to do than randomly send disaster upon his faithful acolytes. This is how I felt when I first ventured into the maelstrom and settled my rear into the customary release position. But on further inspection, I realized this powdery substance flying around me had benefits. It seemed Evan couldn’t dodge as quickly or lift me up from my fragilely reposed state as easily. In fact he rather resembled a bull on a skating rink. I honestly don’t know how some animals survive without 4 feet on the ground. I’ve been trying to balance that way and its just not natural. I try to pull my owners down to my level so they can see the benefits and I congratulate them extensively whenever they take the initiative and join me, but its like teaching a new language and I just don’t think they’re practicing when I’m not around, no matter how many licks of encouragement I give. I won’t need a miracle but perhaps a good saw would do the trick.

But I digress, here I sit, trapped in this prison of flimsy metal, waiting for the food and water and HONEY…mmm…honey… I know they will bring, but when I ask, I plead, I coax from the skies, when my relief come.